Today was actually a pretty crappy day. It is a Sunday and I have drill next weekend so I had a ton of things that I need to get done and I planned on getting them done this weekend.
Of course none of that happened. I didn't even do cardio or go to the range.
Really being a lazy piece of crap this weekend.
I did get to confession on Saturday, and Mass today, and saw Dan there. So not completely wasted.
What I did do is watch Shadowlands. I have had that movie in the DVD drive of my laptop for months planning to watch it but I never did.
When I finally did watch it, it really sucked. The C.S. Lewis character reminded me of myself in so many different ways, and even in his flawed, late in life, half assed, broken sort of way of trying to reach out and truly connect to someone else - it made me realize that I share so many of the characteristics with that character, and yet I probably couldn't even do what he did. The relationship that he did have was to a dying woman after her terminal diagnosis and it was late in his life, when he was in his 50's or 60's.
It was pretty crappy. He obviously had achieved more then I ever will in life (Oxford professor and famous author) and still it all ended like.......................
Basically without answer. To love is to suffer, and that is better then to never really love at all.
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